Swans Are F****** Arseholes

A dark comedy for the algorithm age: absurd, alarming, and painfully human.

All Sarah wants is to be normal. Normal enough to keep her relationship with
her boyfriend Mark, normal enough to hold a job, and normal enough to finally
get sober and stay that way. She’s counting days, avoiding old habits, and trying to rebuild her life—until the internet explodes.

An AI-generated sex tape of Sarah with a swan goes viral overnight.
Strangers recognize her, sobriety meetings become unbearable, and Mark
doesn’t know what to believe. Sarah insists it isn’t her, but in a world where
images feel more real than truth, denial means very little. As the video spirals
into memes, outrage, and public judgment, one question haunts everything: who made the tape, and why?

By BBC New Creative and Soho Theatre, Criterion Theatre & Mercury Theatre
Writers Alumni, Emma Zadow. Previously presented in scratch nights at The
Pleasance Theatre, Union Theatre and Criterion Theatre West End in their
Playwrights Industry Showcase.

Previous Feedback on the script:
“Vivid, timely, wild and exciting.” – Lucy Kirkwood

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Written by Emma Zadow

Directed by Freja Gift

Performed by Benjamin Sumrie, Emma Zadow, Michael Bendib & Mary Tillett

Website: https://bsproductions.co.uk/

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Running time: Approx 60 minutes

Ages Guidance: Ages 16 and above

Contains sexual references, harsh language, scenes of a sexual nature.

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